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I allowed some more junk to seep back into my diet, especially while cooking for Dad who is definitely not vegan but was willing to try some faux meat products, just nothing too "green" or anything that looked like "weeds." So, more veggie burgers, hot dogs & fries & less kale ended up on my plate for a while.
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It was easier to self-medicate with food instead of exercise. I tried to keep up with my daily walks, but either I was too busy or I was simply too tired or stressed. My hobbies, my goals, my health.my weight loss. With all of this going on, I moved Dad to the front burner and put everything else in the back. I keep swimming, as Dory advises, hoping that I make it look easier, that I appear more graceful than I actually am. It's sad and stressful and all-consuming. No vacations, no holidays, no days off where I can just put Dad's illness on the back burner and focus on ME. It has become a full-time job, because even when he's being cared for by paid professionals, I'm still on call. Managing finances, caregivers & general day to day life, doctor visits (and one scary hospital stay), has become the focus of my life. I've discovered skills I never knew I had and dusted off some I never thought I'd need again. It requires more patience, strength and grace than I possess on any given day. For now, I'm just treading water, trying not to drown under the worry and overwhelming responsibility that comes with being the only child of an ailing, aging parent. We were able to move him into his own small home, maintaining some independence, but he requires some supervision so we hired caregivers to be with him about 75% of the time.Īt some point that's not going to be enough and I will have to make the Big Decision. So, we sold Dad's truck and beautiful 5th wheel trailer and with that went his dream of traveling the country, enjoying his retirement after 42 years with the same company.